Lifted

My left and my right.


My step after step.
My laugh and my cry.
My day and my night.
Sometimes rules don’t apply anymore. Like adding one plus
one. It doesn’t equal two. It doesn’t begin to equal anything like two.
One plus one is an infinite number. Infinite possibilities.
Infinite surprises. Infinite energy.
Three years ago, two moons shone on your mother and me. We
thought we’d be forever eclipsed by our first falling star, your older sister
Kylie. But suddenly, there you both were. 
Suddenly, you were in our arms. Just like that.
Suddenly, grace and joy were crying and smiling and ready to
take us on another adventure.
Three years ago, I changed. Things had started with Kylie,
but they ended with the two of you.
For so long it had been about me. For me. Around me. But not
anymore.
Suddenly, I was outnumbered. Outmaneuvered. Out-everything.
But one thing I’ve never been out of since then has been
love for all you girls.
Three years ago, I was lifted. God knew what I needed and
wanted. So he gave me more. A lot more. He propped me up and said Okay,
here you go. Here’s two for you two.
Three years ago, I went to bed and then awoke to the sight
of the most glorious sunshines I’ve ever seen. 
Mackenzie Grace and Brianna Joy.
It’s funny how the names have summed both of them up.
It’s funny how three years can blink, just like that.
God has continued to have to lift me up these past three
years. I’ve drifted and He has lifted. I’ve plummeted and He’s lifted. I’ve
waded and He’s lifted.
Not only that. All of you have lifted your mother and me.
There have been one hundred thousand glorious moments these
past three years. A little smile. A gaze. A touch. A laugh. A hug. Moving
moments. 
There have been the other realities. Restlessness and
confusion and anger and frustration and temper tantrums and tears and
meltdowns. And that’s just talking about Mommy and Daddy. 
Never have I ever felt such exhaustion. 
But look at me, Daddy! 
Never have I felt so out of control. 
Hold me, Mommy. 
Never have I been this anxious. 
Keekee Grace. 
Never have I been so angry. 
Banna Joy. 
Never have I felt so lifted, time and time again. By you
two. By your sister. By your mother. By our Heavenly father. 
I awaken to a dream. Being able to do what I always wanted
to do for a living. And being able to have the family I always wanted to do it
for. 
Sometimes the darkness keeps knocking, keeps me up at night,
keeps me restless and wondering. 
But then sometimes two graceful, joyful voices come waking
us up. 
Happy birthday, Mackenzie and Brianna. Today, like many
days, you lift my spirits. Now if you’ll only sleep through the night. 

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